Wexford mothers have shared their frustration and upset with South East Radio over what they say is absolutely the wrong terminology.
It comes as reports are showing that more and more children are “refusing” to go to school due to anxiety, stress and bullying. The term “school refuser” is widely used on mainstream sites but mothers like Christine and Cathy say using this term to describe children like this is wrong.
Christine said she has seen it have a very physical effect on her daughter and it happened with her son too.
She said, “I’m sorry to say that we currently feel completely unsupported by the school, they just don’t get it. This kind of thing affects the whole family and the government need to seriously cop on and stop giving out a one size fits all education system. I am an Early Childhood Education professional and, within the preschool years, we are expected to offer a child-led, inclusive, welcoming, encouraging curriculum. We build the children up in confidence and self esteem, develop their emotional intelligence and allow them to develop at their own pace in the areas that they have an interest. But what is the point when so many of them then go onwards in education to be told to be quiet, do what they’re told and not be believed when they have a genuine condition around anxiety.
I know it’s difficult for teachers when there are so many now with this difficulty but if they could just listen and understand that many of these children actually wish they were in school, and so do their parents. My daughter had worked very hard in the final term of 3rd year to get herself back in and she managed to get in some of the days. She also sat 5 of her junior cert exams which we thought was amazing as she has missed most of the last 3 yrs. She’s attended jigsaw and then private therapy and attends our GP so I feel she really has done her part. She was all set to try out TY and within the week before school re opened, she learned the school had changed around the classes and separated her from her friends. She has been unable to go back because of this and was so sad last week. Her dad and I both pleaded with the school to allow her be with just one friend for some comfort and familiarity to get her back in and they refused. Our GP even gave a letter of support, explaining she had been medically diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and asked that she be placed with a familiar face and the school didn’t even comment on it.”
Many parents are turning to alternative options like iScoil, which offers both home-based and centre-based educational programmes for students aged between 13 & 16 years old.
Wexford CYSPC also offer a downloadable resource pack for “emotional based school avoidance” That website is https://www.wexfordcypsc.ie/
Cathy said, “I am the mother of a child who cannot attend school due to struggles with mental health.If you walked a mile in my shoes you certainly wouldn’t refer to her situation as school refusal.It is not a choice for her. We have been through hell.It usually starts in secondary school with the onset of hormonal changes and very often in girls that are high functioning and mask quite well.
As a primary school teacher myself I have seen both parents and children particularly children with neurodivergence struggle to come to school as their anxiety levels are so high.
These children deserve our support and compassion. It’s very difficult to watch your group of friends return to school when you can’t and feel like your teenage years are slipping by.
It’s heartbreaking. The mental health support is not available either. We were two years on the Camhs waiting list and that was the urgent list. When she needed to go to A nd E we were then told that she was too urgent for Camhs. It’s a disservice to young people in a similar boat to call their experience school avoidance. There are thousands of us out here. I will be my beautiful, kind intelligent daughters voice and with love support and home education I can only hope that she will start to live again and in time thrive”
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